Waltzing Back
Dope Fresh Since 1985Lost lost lost my mind
Posted on October 17, 2009I started my menstrual cycle today. 3 DAYS EARLY !! I am in pain and bleeding to death, all presumptions. I should have known something was up when I wasn’t PMS psycho bitch. Although I did mouth suck my cock under my breath when I became frustrated with someone. All is well though. Time to meet up with Nicole and Mr. E.
I miss Robbie.
I Have an Idea
Posted on October 17, 2009said the spider to the fly
I think I am going to put the camera I carry around in my purse all the time to some use. I’ll be a tourist in my own city. I will photograph everywhere I go, except work because I would really like to keep my job, it’s something I rely pretty heavily on. I enjoyed photographing everything on my VA vacation, why not in my own backyard?
Punk Rock Love
Posted on October 16, 2009
You are at work and I couldn’t see you last night and I won’t be seeing you tonight. I miss you. I am thinking of you. And I am feeling very vulnerable. But at the same time, if this headache does not go away I will be gorging my eyes out of my head with my bare fingers. Then I will truly never see you again.
Maybe that’s not such a great idea.
Changes
Posted on October 15, 2009I have been reading Buddhism: Plain and Simple and it talks about how things in our world, people especially, are in constant flux. We are constantly changing and the reason I bring this up is because I feel something is not right. Now, a normal person would usually go to a doctor if things just didn’t seem right, but in this day and age, the norm are few and far between so now we blog instead.
I have been getting nauseous almost daily and very clammy sometimes. My moods which can be usually even keel–well, only at work–are becoming more irrational and erratic even at work. My headaches are out of this world. Bloating and gas have increased also. Could I be pregnant? Maybe. Am I? I don’t know. Do I want to be? Sometimes. Why haven’t I peed on a stick yet? Because I haven’t missed my period yet which is due the 20th.
Reasons Why I Should Not Have A Child Now:
- I live at home with my family. This includes my Mom, Dad, 29 yr old Sister, 5 yr old Nephew, 2 Dogs and 2 Snakes. All in a 3 bedroom home.
- I do not make a livable income.
- I do not have a supportive partner in the picture.
- I still have some growing up to do
- I always wanted the house, career and husband before the baby.
Reasons Why I Should Have A Child Now:
- NONE
Hopefully I am just not well at the moment and once Aunt Flo shows up all will be well. Otherwise, I am screwed. This post just proves how much growing up I have left to do.
Burning For You
Posted on October 15, 2009I am in love with Robbie. Why do I call a 25 year young man Robbie? Because I can and I like it. He’s already talking about how I am going to be the girl he marries and how he wants to have children with me. It’s rather quite endearing if I dare say. We were in bed just talking last night and he said he felt he was just some novelty item to me. That is definitely not the case. Jeff was a novelty item and that was very short lived. Everyone—excluding Robbie, mind you—after Jorge was a novelty. Jorge was one of the most intense and passionate first loves of my life. It was intoxicating and exciting and bound to die. With Robbie, it can be intense and definitely exciting, but more in a calm and true way.
We have everything that I always felt relationships needed. We are starting to bond and build a foundation. We are starting to open up to each other and develop a true trust and honesty. I was always afraid of relationships and opening up and becoming completely vulnerable, but it just comes so naturally when I am with him. If broken hearts are all we end up with when it is all said and done, it is totally worth it.